Hey Doc? Give Me The "Holly Madison", Hold The Sanity

OK so I think I finally figured out what happened. In celebration of the success of RuPaul's Drag Race, Mattel decided to launch a new line of dolls made in his/her likeness. Tragically, the factory was attacked by a coalition of Christian crazies, and the entire building burned to the ground. From the ruins emerged a few damaged but otherwise still intact dolls. And so we have this vaguely human mongoloid gracing her singed self on the cover of People.

Also lost in the fire? People's sense of journalistic integrity. Since when did they become InTouch? Heidi's TEN surgical procedures knocked the Obama's right off the cover and into a subset. This country's going to hell in a handbasket. And Heidi packed the picnic lunch.

[Deceiver]