Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Second Anniversary

Aw, isn't that cute? I guess even the Scientos have taken a hit in the financial department. Katie has resorted to wearing Tom's old suits. You know, the ones he wore when he didn't look like he'd swallowed a bucket of semen. Actually, maybe he was pregnant. Maybe the real conspiracy is that Tom has been having the babies!

That behind shot is scary. Its like that moment in Ferris Bueller's Day Off when the principal goes to the arcade and taps someone from behind, expecting to see Ferris, and instead gets a faceful of Pepsi from some hot lesbian looking chick. I guess that's what happens when you're a 27 year old woman with Golden Girls hair. Oh, and Katie, way to rock the camel toe! I'd say that the camel toe was the only way I knew it was Katie, but considering my new theories as to who was really incubating Suri, maybe not. From Hello! via Celebitchy:

“And they said it wouldn’t last.” Those were Tom Cruise’s words a couple of weeks ago after I congratulated him on the approaching second anniversary of his marriage to Katie Holmes. We were backstage in NY City after one of Katie’s performances… “I guess we proved them wrong, didn’t we?” Tom laughed... on meeting Tom at the MIII audition, Katie said: “The chemistry between us was instantaneous...If ever there was love at first sight, that was it. Tom was the most lethally attractive man I have ever met.”

Hey, Tom, we didn't say it wouldn't last. We said it CONTRACTUALLY wouldn't last. Get it right!

Two whole years together. That's how long it took them to finally come up with a good cover story as to how Tom and Katie met. I call bullshit. I'm sure they did in fact meet at an audition. Maybe the words Mission Impossible 3 were in there somewhere. But let's be honest. It was the audition to become his wife. And this is laughable: "the most lethally attractive man I have ever met?" Did it take those two years to come up with that quote, too? Who talks like that? No one. Sorry Katie. You won't be able to single handedly resurrect Tom's career with a few "he's amazing!"s here and "I'm so in love!"s there. I will say this though. Nice choice of words. "Lethally" attractive? As in, deadly? Well, you got that right. I think that's what we call a freudian slip.

I wonder what they'll do to celebrate. His n Hers auditing sessions? Specially e-meters with "Til Contract Do Us Part" engraved into them? The possibilities abound.