Paris Hilton: I'd Totally Date Prince William If He Ditched Mousy Kate Middleton

Oooh, you hear that Prince William? Paris Hilton says she would totally date you if you ditch the brunette. What a shocker: a self important, delusional, spoiled skank, with her eyes set on royalty! I think I'll just sit down and die from surprise.

This statement from Paris Hilton, told to Now Magazine, is kind of a no brainer. Paris would date anything so long as it has a functioning penis and a credit card. Actually scratch that. Just has to have a credit card. And I doubt his relationship status would bother her at all. This is a girl who'd felch a married man in the cloakroom at Bungalow 8 for free drinks. She'd probably hook up with Prince Charles if William and Harry weren't available. Hell, she'd fuck Camilla!

“I’d be more than happy to date William - so long as he ditches the mousy girlfriend. I couldn’t believe it when I met him. He was awesome and really hot.” Source

Bitch acts like he was asking. As if. Stupid girl is starting to believe her own hype. Just because you say something, Paris, doesn't mean it was ever possible. Just like I can say "I'd totally fuck Brad Pitt if he wasn't with Angelina", but doesn't mean I actually ever had a chance of fucking him. Do you see the difference?

Aww silly me, of course she can't. Her wonk eye is getting in the way.