Benji Madden Is In Love With Paris Hilton

Beni Madden is a man in love! OK or maybe he's just elated after finding out cough syrup is a tasty and fun addition to any cocktail. One of the two. And I know I shouldn't say "man", either. He's more like a man-child. A mild? A chan? Anyway, dude is head over heels for the LA plague, Parasite Hilton:

“I’m so beyond happy,” Benji, 29, said of his hot relationship with Paris Hilton. “Of course,” he added, “when you’re that happy, you think about everything.”

When asked if he worries about having kids, Benji replied: “Not at all. I mean, she’s my best friend” – prompting Joel to interject sarcastically, “I can see it tomorrow, ‘Benji’s Ready for Fatherhood.’ ”

Continued Benji: “I’ve never been so happy. Nothing worries me in life anymore. When you find that best friend, that love, all your worries kind of go away. Your work gets better and everything you do, you have someone supporting you, and she’s that for me. I’ve never been supported so much.”

In his repeated refrain, Benji said, “I’m a lucky guy. Her family is so nice to me. And now the four of us, we all … it’s great, you know.”

Could that possibly mean a double wedding? Responded both bothers, in unison: “No.”

I wanna fucking change my heading to "BENJI'S READY FOR MARRIAGE" just as a smack to Joel's bloated, smarmy little face.

HA! A double wedding, I'd so love to see that. The brides would be taking tequila shots and snorting Valtrex laced with Vicodin in the priest's chambers while the Maddens would be frantically searching for where the girls left Harlow.