Nick Hogan Figures Out Prison Ain't A Picnic

Transcripts courtesy of abc.com


Nick Bollea: "Had I known this, I would have rather gone to trial or I would rather, you know, appeal the case or something. I can't deal with this for eight months. It's (Bollea's cell) like the size of my bathroom."

(LOL, I love that line. From the mimbo to human dictionary, I've translated that as "If I'd known it was going to be so boring, I would have put it off for as long as possible."


Linda Bollea: "Oh!" (I picture her here, clutching her heart and putting on an stage opera look of surprise.)


Nick: "No windows or nothing. Just one little top bed thing."


Linda: "Oh my God!" (Oh my God?!? She acts like he just told her they're all spitting plague infested saliva into Dixies cups and making the new guy drink from it.)




Bollea is being kept in a single cell at the Pinellas County Jail because he is one of only two minors serving time in the adult facility. On the phone, he cries often and is comforted by his mother Linda.


Nick: "All you do is sit there and think, and there's nothing to think about." (yeah, nothing for YOU Nick, because you're empty headed. It happens.)


Linda: "We'll get through it."


Nick: "Yeah."


Linda: "Prove to everyone you've learned your lesson and be more careful." (This is a line spoken simply for the benefit of the audience she knew she'd have in the future.)


To date, Bollea has spent an average of two hours on the phone per day. On Wednesday Hulk congratulated him on his time served so far.


Terry Bollea: "I'm very proud of you brother. Very, very proud of you. You've been thrown in a tough spot and you've handled it better than I could have probably handled it. Any man I know. You've really been somebody to look up to."



I shouldnt really be surprised that the Hogan family continues to want us to feel sorry for them. Last week they were leaking stories about brooke's impending breakdown due to her father's infidelity and her brother's ordeal, and now this. Ok, America has SEEN a breakdown about to happen, and her name was Hurricane Britney, and Hurricane Britney can blow Hurricane Brooke out of the water any day. Unless Brooke suddenly shaves her head and starts talking in a British accent, I think she's gonna be ok. You'd honestly have to skin and eat a live kitten with your bare hands to top that. From what I can tell, Brooke is maybe on a level 1.8 on the Brit Brit scale... "Excessive Cheeto and Frappucino consumption"...a minor disaster at best. And I call bullshit on the Daddy issues....from the way her Daddy was rubbing her down with oil a few weeks ago, I think her relationship with him is doing just fine.


Edit: TMZ has more audio now, and appears that Hulk Hogan not only blames John Graziano's fate on Graziano's lifestyle and having angered God, but Linda Hogan claims that John's mother did not care about him until she saw dollar signs, and that she, Linda Hogan, was in fact suffering more than John Graziano's mother. Oh, and the Hulk is trying to get Nick out of prison and instead on house arrest! Yeah!